JE, A Thousand Questions

Title: A Thousand Questions [Jin/Yamapi]
Rating/Warnings: R for the answers to at least one of them.
Summary: Ryo tells Pin how it is.
AN: Written for Jemz’s Valentine’s Day Challenge, inspired in part by the Myojo interview mentioned in-text, and also the ONE DROP PV.

alissa | crystallekil | coiled_iris | joshua_glass | ky_rin | liangzhu | mousapelli | myxstorie | nicocoer | pastdazed | silver_rose88 | slytherisa | snowqueenofhoth | tinyangl | trivialaffair

A Thousand Questions

“Yamashita,” Ryo said, sitting down across the dressing room’s table from Yamapi and staring at him calmly. “I have something to tell you, and you need to listen very carefully.”

Yamapi looked up from his morning energy jelly and examined Ryo. Ryo was holding an old issue of Myojo, and wearing the Very Serious Expression. Yamapi didn’t like the Very Serious Expression, because it usually meant that Ryo wanted to talk about something boring like just what they thought they were doing on stage yesterday or who replaced all his underwear with the edible kind that tastes like sour plum.

“Okay,” he said at length, because Ryo was pretty scary.

“You,” Ryo said slowly, watching to make sure Yamapi’s attention was focused on him, “love Jin.”

“Yup!” Yamapi brightened, relieved this wasn’t going to be one of those conversations where Ryo tried to get Yamapi to have Revelations. “We’re best friends!”

“No,” Ryo shook his head, opening up the magazine, and Yamapi frowned.

“Yes, we are!” he protested. “He told me this morning! After I found his wallet in the freezer!”

Ryo grit his teeth for a moment, then found the page in the magazine he was looking for. “NEWS 1000Q,” he read, smoothing the magazine flat and glancing up to make sure Yamapi was still paying attention. “Putting aside the fact that you think your charm point is your nipples, let’s skip to question 43, which reads ‘I laugh when I think about the fact that Akanishi Jin exists. Ah, Akanishi is one of those precious things I mentioned earlier.'”

“Aw, I remember this interview!” Yamapi reached over the table to make a grab for the magazine. “Don’t worry, Ryo-chan, you’re one of those precious things too.”

“I should be so lucky.” Ryo slapped Yamapi’s hand away, rolling his eyes. “Question 63: ‘At what age was your first kiss?’ To which you answer, so eloquently, ‘This is about my first kiss with Akanishi, though.'” Ryo paused and raised an eyebrow. “Your first kiss with Akanishi?”

“Some of us didn’t need to get a pillow to practice.” Yamapi stuck his tongue out.

“Moving on,” Ryo flipped a page. “Question 52: ‘with what words would you confess?’ gets the answer ‘I love you,’ and then, wonder of wonders, the answer to 117 is ‘I love Jin in my own way.'”

Ryo closed the magazine and folded his hands on top of it, looking expectant. It took Yamapi roughly ten seconds to get bored and start squirming.

“Okay,” he finally said. “So what?”

“You love Jin,” Ryo repeated.

Yamapi heaved an exasperated sigh. “I know! We’re best—”

“No, you insufferable moron,” Ryo interrupted, “you love him! The kind of love with confessing and making out and, if question 123 is any indication, taking drives together!”

“I…” Yamapi drummed his fingers on the table. “What?”

“That kind of love,” Ryo finished triumphantly, “is actually called ‘being in love with.'”

Yamapi’s jaw dropped. “You’re…” he stuttered, looking from Ryo’s face to the magazine and back again. “You’re crazy! We’re just best friends! Best friends love each other!”

“Just think about it.” Ryo flashed Yamapi a cheerful grin, which filled Yamapi with more dread than the whole rest of the conversation combined. “I’m sure you’ll see I’m right.”

*****

Yamapi chewed on that for the rest of the day, wavering in between two universal truths about Ryo-chan:

1. Ryo-chan was really smart, and he usually was right. Especially when it came to his bandmates. Especially when it was something the bandmate in question hadn’t quite worked out for himself yet.

and

2. Ryo-chan liked tormenting his bandmates more than anything. Like that time he filed a quarter-inch off Shige’s boots every night until Shige was convinced he was shrinking. Or the time he photoshopped a news report to make Masuda believe that they were going to stop selling instant ramen.

This was just like that, Yamapi had convinced himself by the time practice was over. Ryo was just trying to psych him out, and a couple days from now, after Yamapi had humiliated himself in public, he would move on to his next victim.

All he had to do was outlast Ryo, Yamapi figured, whistling as he opened his front door and headed inside, calling that he was home.

“Welcome home!” Jin called from the couch, which was a regular enough occurrence that Yamapi didn’t even blink as he kicked off his shoes and stripped off his jacket, thinking about whether he had any food worth trying to make or should just call out. But when he came into the living room, all thoughts of food flew right out of his head as he stopped just inside the room.

Jin was sitting on Yamapi’s couch with an acoustic guitar across his lap. He was wearing only a worn pair of jeans and a white tank top, and when he strummed, the muscles in his arms slid under his skin, making Yamapi swallow hard. Jin’s face was unusually serious as he concentrated, although the seriousness was somewhat marred by the way the front pieces of his hair were pulled back from his face by a pink hair elastic. His tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth in concentration, his long fingers flexing against the strings.

The whole scene was totally normal, and yet something about it was as though Yamapi had never seen anything like it, like Yamapi was looking at Jin for the first time, and that’s when it finally sank in that Ryo was totally right, that bastard.

Yamapi tried to back out of the room to collect himself and accidentally kicked the wall.

Looking up at the noise, Jin fixed Yamapi with a warm, dark brown stare, guitar falling silent, and Yamapi froze, his heart-rate doubling.

“Maa, I’ve forgot everything I learned in L.A.,” Jin complained, the scowl somehow making him even sexier. Jin tilted his head a little to gaze up at Yamapi. “You’ll re-teach me, right?”

“Um,” Yamapi said helplessly, struggling to think about something besides the tempting curves of Jin’s collarbones. “I should…food…”

“Oh, I ordered Chinese already,” Jin grinned, and patted the seat cushion next to him in invitation.

*****

“What do I do?” Yamapi demanded as soon as Ryo showed up to work the next day.

“Stop letting Arashi pick out your outfits?” Ryo suggested, setting down his bag and eyeing Yamapi’s shirt with distaste.

“About Jin!” Yamapi snapped.

“I doubt you’ll be able to get rid of him at this point,” Ryo shrugged, barely paying any attention to Yamapi at all as Tegoshi trotted over and worked his way under Ryo’s arm for a quick good morning hug before skipping back off to Koyama. “We’re stuck with him now, I think.”

“No, you moron,” Yamapi glanced around the dressing room to make sure nobody was paying them any mind and lowered his voice. “I’m in love with Jin!”

“Oh, that.” Ryo rolled his eyes. “You…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Yamapi demanded, and Ryo’s mouth turned into a very thin line. “What do I do?”

“Nothing,” Ryo answered, leaning down to unzip his bag and tug out his practice clothes. “Are you going to change or what?”

“Nothing? What do you mean nothing?” Yamapi’s brow furrowed. “Is this reverse psychology? Because Jin probably won’t notice subtle tricks like that. Like that time Kame tried to get him to stop smoking by making him chain smoke a whole carton and the only thing that happened was…”

“No, nothing like doing nothing,” Ryo interrupted as he pulled his shirt off. “It isn’t news to anybody besides you that you’re in love with Jin. I didn’t tell you so that you could start messing everything all up and drag us all down with you.”

“Then why did you tell me?” Yamapi wanted to know.

Ryo shrugged, pausing a moment with his shirt in his hands. “I just thought you ought to know. Since everybody else did.”

“Oh.” Yamapi, unable to come up with something to say, went back to changing into his own practice clothes. When he sat down to tie his sneakers, he tilted his head back to look at Ryo. “Everybody knows?”

“Yes,” Ryo repeated.

Yamapi fiddled with his shoelace. “Does Jin know?”

Ryo sighed, and didn’t say anything for a moment, but Yamapi waited patiently, watching. “Yeah,” Ryo finally said, “Jin knows.”

“How long?” Yamapi asked, stomach knotting a little.

“A while.” Ryo refused to meet Yamapi’s eyes and turned to go.

“Ryo?” Yamapi asked, uncertain. “How…”

“Just a while, okay?” Ryo didn’t turn around. “Hurry up, you’re making us late.”

*****

For a few days Yamapi really did do nothing, except for watch Jin as much as possible to try and sort out the situation in his head. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded, since both of them were busy. But they managed to grab lunch together one day and a few rounds of Tekken the next, so late by the time they were both free that the city was dark and peaceful when Jin met Yamapi at the station.

“I’ve told you not to do that,” Yamapi chastised as he bumped his pass and came through the turnstile, but Jin just shrugged a little, most of his expression hidden by his aviators and the hat pulled low over his features. “Afraid I’ll get lost on the way to your place?”

“Can’t ever be sure with you,” Jin said lightly, and Yamapi wondered how long Jin had been speaking the truth like this without him noticing. But then he got distracted from his thoughts when Jin suggested they stop by the combini for cigarettes and food.

His thoughts didn’t come back to the subject until they were five rounds into their Ultimate Tournament (winner rules ALL JAPAN), when Yamapi looked over to see the same look on Jin’s face as he’d had with the guitar, serious, his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth, his long fingers flexing against the controller, and then the television gave a blast of victorious music as Jin’s character utterly annihilated Yamapi’s.

“Are you even paying attention?” Jin demanded, turning to raise his eyebrow at Yamapi, and Yamapi’s stomach bunched up with that same unpleasant feeling.

“Yeah,” Yamapi answered, then asked, “How long have I been in love with you?”

Jin’s whole face tightened, before his expression went neutral. “Ryo told you.” Yamapi nodded, ducking his head as the back of his neck warmed. “What are you asking me for, shouldn’t you know?”

“I only just realized,” Yamapi said quietly, head lowering even further. “I tried to think back…but, I can’t remember. I can’t remember anything changing, I mean.”

“That’s because nothing did. I’m tired,” Jin said, standing up. “I’m going to bed. You can stay on the couch if you want.”

He strolled off to his bedroom, and Yamapi stayed where he was on the floor for a while, staring at nothing, until he realized that the game’s theme was looping over and over and reached over to flip the switch on the back of the Playstation. He struggled up, knees cracking, and threw himself onto the couch.

But after staring at the ceiling for the better part of half an hour, Yamapi climbed back off the couch and went back into Jin’s room.

Jin was lying with his back to the door, curled up in a ball, chest rising just a little too regularly.

“Jin,” Yamapi said, and Jin gave the fakest snore ever. “Jin, I know you aren’t sleeping.”

“I am so,” Jin said, voice gruff, and Yamapi chuckled and sat down on the edge of Jin’s bed.

“Tell me how long,” he said.

“I already said,” Jin snapped, “if you don’t know, then I don’t know how I’m supposed to…”

“You, I mean,” Yamapi interrupted. “How long has it been for you?”

Jin didn’t answer right away, but he rolled over onto his back so that Yamapi could see his face, although Jin was looking at the ceiling rather than at him. “You remember,” he said at last, “that time we stole all of Ryo’s socks out of his room and gave them back one at a time for weeks?”

“Yes!” Yamapi laughed, eyes squinting nearly shut in amusement at the memory. “That was so long ago, how old were we? God, Ryo barely came up to our armpits back then, we must have been…”

“Already, by then,” Jin said, cutting Yamapi off.

“Jin.” Yamapi shook his head, reaching over to brush fingers over Jin’s cheek. “Why didn’t you just say?”

“You were supposed to figure it out.” Jin pulled a face. “On your own. You were supposed to have some sort of revelation and rush in and sweep me off my feet, in the rain, I had it all planned. It was very dramatic.”

“Idiot,” Yamapi murmured, palming Jin’s cheek and starting to lean down. “You should’ve just…”

“Don’t.” Jin’s hand on Yamapi’s shoulder stopped him from leaning any further, and Jin looked away again, past Yamapi.

“What do you mean, don’t?” Yamapi demanded, frowning. “Why on earth not? I’m in love with you, and all this time you’ve been…”

“You were happy,” Jin asked, “before, before you knew. Everything was good, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, of course,” Yamapi answered, frowning when Jin’s fingers squeezed tight around his shoulder for a moment before Jin pulled his hand away entirely.

“Go sleep on the couch, Pi.” Jin rolled back over, onto his side facing the wall.

“But…”

“You can’t do this to me, after all this. I had it all worked out, before you knew. We’re both happy enough, this way. Please, Pi?”

Jin’s voice was so sad and small that Yamapi didn’t have the heart to argue with him. Touching Jin’s shoulder lightly, Yamapi stood up and went back out to the couch, where he spent a long night watching shadows move over the ceiling as cars went by.

*****

Yamapi tried to keep his worries to himself as a few days went by without even a mail from Jin, but if Koyama’s constant mothering was any indication, he wasn’t doing a very good job. By the third day, Yamapi’s nerves were beginning to fray, but he simply grit his teeth and endured it because he couldn’t bear to hurt Koyama’s feelings when Koyama was just trying to be helpful.

“Oh, would you get out of here?” Ryo snapped, having no such compunction, as he shooed Koyama off. “You think coffee milk fixes everything!”

“It fixes everything that’s wrong with me,” Koyama sniffed, but just then Shige gave a shriek, and Koyama glanced over his shoulder before dashing off in the direction of Tegoshi giggling.

“I knew it,” Ryo growled at Yamapi, holding up his phone in Yamapi’s face. “I knew you’d fuck it all up! Do you know how many times Jin has mailed me in the last forty-eight hours?”

“I don’t think he’s speaking to me,” Yamapi said sadly, staring at his sneakers and kind of wishing he had some coffee milk after all. “What should I do, Ryo-chan?”

“Nothing!” Ryo snapped. “I already told you not to do anything, but you couldn’t manage even that! God, Jin was right, I never should have told you!” Just then Ryo’s phone buzzed in his hand. “See?! Fuck, I hate both of you! You’re both dumb bitches and I’m telling Tegoshi you’re mean to me so that you’ll get what you deserve!”

Yamapi looked up suddenly. “What did you say?”

“You’re both dumb bitches and I’m telling Tegoshi on you!”

“No,” Yamapi rolled his eyes, “the other part!”

“I said that Jin was right!” Ryo repeated.

“But…Jin’s never right,” Yamapi said, frowning.

“It’s shocking I know, but…”

“No, Jin’s never right!” Yamapi exclaimed, making Ryo squint at him. “You’re always right, and Jin never is! I have to go.”

“Go?” Ryo blinked, and Yamapi was already throwing his bag over his shoulder and running for the door. “We’re about to start filming, you can’t go!”

“Cover for me!” Yamapi yelled back. “Thanks, Ryo-chan!”

The soundstage door slammed shut before Ryo was even through shouting how much he hated everybody.

*****

Limos, Yamapi thought to himself as he strode through the set of KAT-TUN’s current PV filming, wondering why NEWS got square cats and hamburgers while KAT-TUN got limousines and wine. He was starting to wonder how he’d ever figure out which limo Jin was in, when he looked down and realized he was standing in front of one with Jin’s initials on the license plate.

“Tcht,” Yamapi rolled his eyes, “KAT-TUN.”

Nobody was more surprised than Jin when Yamapi threw open the door of the limo and stuck his head inside. Except maybe the camera crew.

“Sorry,” Yamapi apologized to the crew, “but I really need a minute with Akanishi-kun. Can you guys go film Kamenashi-kun or Nakamaru-kun or something for a bit?”

Jin’s jaw was still dangling when Yamapi slammed the limo door shut behind the last of the camera men, and Yamapi took a moment to enjoy how good shock looked on Jin, how nicely cut the suit he was wearing for this particular PV was, and how smooth the leather of the seats was when he sat down next to Jin on the plush limo seat.

“You said,” Yamapi started, edging closer under his knee was touching Jin’s, “that we shouldn’t, that it was good enough the way things are, but you’re always wrong and Ryo’s always right. And Ryo said that this is the kind of love with confessions and making out and taking drives together. So,” Yamapi took a deep breath, “here we are, in a car, and I know it’s very sudden but I like you, and I really want to get to the part with the making out.”

Yamapi had to take a rather undignified gasp of air after getting all that out, but Jin was still staring at him without saying anything in reply.

“It isn’t raining or anything,” Yamapi finished apologetically, “but I hoped this would be dramatic enough regardless.” Yamapi paused again, and still Jin said nothing. A desperate sort of panic welled up in Yamapi’s throat. “I’m not too late, am I? Jin, please, say I’m not?”

“But,” Jin said slowly, “I can’t. Because you just said I’m always wrong. So I can’t say it…”

A smile crept onto Jin’s face finally, and a wave of relief crashed over Yamapi, making him dizzy as he reached for Jin’s face with both hands and finally, finally pulled him over so they could get to the part with the making out.

They didn’t get very far into that part before there was an angry knock on the window of the limo, and Jin sprawled half across Yamapi’s lap to reach the button for the window. The window scrolled down smoothly to reveal a glowering Kamenashi surrounded by several sheepish camera men. Jin and Yamapi both beamed up at Kame winningly.

“You,” Kame pointed at Yamapi, “out! And you,” Kame swung his glare back to Jin, “I’m having all the alcohol taken out of your limo!” From somewhere behind Kame, Yamapi thought he heard Ueda’s voice saying that he’d take it.

“Come over when you’re done,” Yamapi murmured in Jin’s ear, then stole a last kiss as he turned to slide out of the limo.

“Oi,” Jin caught at Yamapi’s wrist as he climbed out, and when Yamapi looked back, Jin was smiling up at him, almost shyly, “this is very sudden, but I like you too.”

Yamapi thought about that the whole time he was being told off by their manager, and the upshot of that was that the telling off took three times longer than it ought to have because he couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off his face.

*****

Even with the lecture, Yamapi was still home long before Jin was finished shooting. He tried to occupy himself with television, with his nikki, with mailing the other members until they all begged him to stop, but none of it held his attention for long, especially as it grew later and later.

Yamapi had all but given up hope when finally Jin stumbled through the door, eyes ringed with exhaustion and still wearing the suit.

“What the hell took you so long?” Yamapi demanded, practically leaping off the couch.

“I got lost on the way to your place,” Jin admitted sheepishly, and they both laughed for the few seconds it took Yamapi to get close enough to crush his mouth against Jin’s.

Jin was warm under Yamapi’s hands, and tasted of wine, and Yamapi muffled a groan against Jin’s mouth as Jin wrapped arms tight around Yamapi’s neck to pull him closer. The kiss was hot and desperate, Yamapi’s lips stinging with the force of it, and it wasn’t at all Yamapi had imagined kissing Jin would be, in that it was a hundred thousand times better.

“Still think before was good enough?” Yamapi asked when they had to break for air.

“Take me to bed, Pi?” Jin cut right to the chase, and Yamapi was more than happy to oblige.

And since it had taken so long to get here, Yamapi took his time now, undressing Jin and kissing or nibbling every piece of skin as he revealed it, until Jin was writhing underneath him and begging him to hurry.

“I’ll fall asleep on you,” Jin warned between moans, “and then you’ll be sorry!”

“Wrong again,” Yamapi hummed, but he slid his mouth over Jin’s cock anyway, only lifting his head back up to inform Jin that he was expected to return the favor. Jin groaned his agreement and worked his fingers into Yamapi’s hair, tugging on the remaining stray curls of Yamapi’s perm as Yamapi worked out exactly how much of Jin he could get into his mouth at a time. He wrapped his hand around Jin to make up the difference and stroked until Jin came apart underneath him, fingers tight in Yamapi’s hair and sobbing his name.

“You loser,” Yamapi chided when he crawled back up Jin’s body and found him already struggling to keep his eyes open. “Gimme your hand.”

“Sorry, Pi,” Jin yawned, obediently wrapping his hand around Yamapi’s cock, and Yamapi closed his hand tight over Jin’s, teaching him the rhythm he liked best. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“It’s fine,” Yamapi assured, because he wasn’t going to need long to catch up to Jin, as long as he’d been waiting. He nuzzled at Jin’s jaw and was surprised when Jin kissed him without hesitation. And when he did come a minute later, the best part was the sleepy smile that Jin gave him just before pulling their still-joined hands up to his mouth.

*****

“You’re both morons,” was all Ryo had to say on the matter when Yamapi showed up to work twenty minutes late, hair wild and in no condition for dance practice. “You deserve each other.”

“Ryo-chan is always right,” Yamapi agreed easily. “That’s why he’s one of my precious things too.”

“Whatever,” Ryo grunted, but he let Yamapi hug him for a moment before shoving him off, complaining that Yamapi smelled worse than Jin’s locker had when they were juniors.

• 

  By EliJ, 2009.02.23 @ 12:36 am

  I love you so much.
  Wipes tears of joy.
  Ryo´s underwear, his socks. *dies*
  ¨Fuck, I hate both of you! You’re both dumb bitches and I’m telling Tegoshi you’re mean to me so that you’ll get what you deserve!” Priceless!!

  Thank you.
• 

  By Mazauric, 2012.03.22 @ 10:54 pm

  I love it! The funniest part was an angry Kame telling both Jin and Yamapi off (lol, yes NEWS with cats and KAT-TUN with limo’s and wine, where’s the fairness?)
  Loved it! Thanks

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