Harry Potter, Just Spreading a Bit of Holiday Cheer

Title: Just Spreading a Little Holiday Cheer [Remus/Sirius]
Rating/Warnings: R for a shag involving pointy plants.
Summary: Sirius glories in causing botanical problems.
A/N: Written because Musesfool claimed there wasn’t enough fluffy holiday R/S on her Flist.

Just Spreading a Bit of Holiday Cheer

Remus shuddered as the cold December wind cut through his thinning coat and disordered his hair. He shoved his hands in his pockets, then winced as something sharp pricked his right hand. With a sigh, he pulled the something out along with his hand, the chapped skin bearing several other similar scratches.

He kept forgetting the damn holly sprig was in his pocket.

He twirled the dark green plant in his fingers for a moment, watching the red berries go round several times before tucking it back into his coat. With one last glance at the new scratch, which was oozing a bit of blood. Remus resigned himself to having very cold hands for the rest of the walk to Grimmauld Place.

Remus practically fell in the door when he finally arrived, half-frozen and happy just to close his eyes and remain still for several moments, absorbing the relative warmth.

Sirius had hurried down the stairs the moment he heard the door open, skipping every other stair with the same fierce energy he’d had the entire holiday season, desperate to see Harry and for the others to arrive, for something, anything, to happen.

He didn’t stop at the bottom and rushed into the front hall, hardly quiet, but Remus still didn’t open his eyes. Sirius hesitated for a second before taking Remus’ hands between his own, and paused another breath before leaning in and kissing him quickly on the lips.

Remus’ eyes flew open at that, and Sirius felt pleasure wash through him at Remus’ small smile.

“Moony, are you blushing?” Sirius teased.

“No,” Remus said firmly, trying to tug his hands out of Sirius’. Sirius held fast. “I’m too old to blush.”

“You’re too sensible to be wandering around outside without gloves on is what you are,” Sirius admonished, rubbing Remus’ hands between his own. “Your hands are freezing.”

“Yes, well,” Remus successfully pulled away one hand to extract the holly from his pocket and wave it in Sirius’ face, “I could put my hands in my pockets, if somebody would stop putting pointy plants in all of them.”

“Just spreading a bit of holiday cheer,” Sirius grinned unrepentantly, plucking the sprig from Remus’ fingers.

“Can’t you spread it to somebody else for a change?” Remus complained. Sirius murmured something non-committal and took one step closer to start unbuttoning Remus’ coat.

“I mean, it isn’t like I don’t appreciate the gesture,” Remus said more gently as Sirius pushed the coat off his shoulders and down his arms. “But I keep scraping myself on them.” Sirius let the coat fall to the floor and didn’t move back, smoothing his hands down Remus’ back and leaning their foreheads together. “It’s just, they’re everywhere! In my pockets, in my desk, in my books, in my…” Remus cut off abruptly as he felt something tug at his belt. “So help me, Sirius, if there is even holly in my trousers right now…”

“Be glad it isn’t mistletoe,” Sirius said in a low voice, leaving his hands resting on the small of Remus’ back. “Then I’d have to kiss what’s underneath.”

“Sirius.” Remus’ voice was a warning growl. “Not in the hall.”

“You are old,” Sirius snorted in disgust, backing up a pace. “There’s no one even here.”

“Remus?” Molly called from the kitchen. “Is that you?”

Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius.

“Nobody who counts,” Sirius grumbled.

“You’re just in time for dinner!” Molly yelled.

“I’ll just go up to wash up,” Remus called back, bending stiffly to pick up his coat from the floor. “I’ll be right down then. And Sirius’ll be right in to help you!”

Sirius’ scowl deepened, and Remus chuckled softly at his small revenge for the pointy plants, but softened the sting of it by leaning up to kiss Sirius’ cheek on the way by. Sirius grinned in surprise at the rare display of affection, looking almost civil as Remus pushed him gently towards the kitchen.

In an upstairs bathroom, Remus was unable to keep from smiling a little as he reached around behind him to pull the holly sprig out of the waistband of his trousers and set it down on the edge of the sink.

He continued to stare at the twig thoughtfully as he washed his face and cleaned the cuts on his hand. He was determined to give Sirius a taste of his own medicine, if he could only come up with a place to stick the plant.

Sirius’ coat was right out, since he never went anyplace, and his shoes, because he liked to sneak up behind Order members and so seldom wore them. Remus didn’t have a steady enough hand to sneak them into Sirius’ robes or trousers without him noticing.

The solution hit Remus so suddenly that he stood stock still for a moment, enjoying the beauty of the plan. Snatching up the holly, he peered out into the hall to make sure nobody was coming, then snuck silently down the hall and into Sirius’ bedroom.

“What’re you grinning about?” Sirius asked suspiciously when Remus came back downstairs and into the kitchen. He took some plates out of a cupboard and came to help Sirius set the table.

“Just glad to be inside where it’s warm,” Remus lied smoothly. Sirius looked skeptical, so Remus added a truth. “Glad to be here with you.”

“You’re affectionate today,” Sirius said in a low voice, flicking a glance over Remus’ shoulder to make sure Molly wasn’t listening in. “Have I been good or something?”

“I hope not, I’d be concerned if you were,” Remus said with amusement.

“Good,” Sirius bumped shoulders lightly with Remus, “I’d rather be rewarded for being bad, if you wanted to know.”

Remus laughed quietly, but out loud, and Sirius’ eyes flashed triumph at the rare occurrence. He pressed his attack while Remus was at a disadvantage, finding small excuses to nudge against him or make him laugh as other Order members drifted in. He didn’t let up even when they sat down to eat, waiting until the worst moments possible to nudge Remus’ leg with his bare foot from across the table.

“Stop it,” Remus hissed in warning while the others were laughing riotously at some ridiculous story of Bill’s involving Fred and George visiting him at work and popping round corners at some hapless bank goblin to drive him mad.

“I’m barely doing anything,” Sirius murmured back innocently, smiling infuriatingly.

“You know exactly what you’re do…” Remus’ accusation cut off in the middle as Sirius ran his foot a bit higher up his leg. Sirius took an long drink to hide his smirk and came up looking totally innocent.

Two can play that game, Remus thought viciously, reaching over on the pretense of getting another roll and running his nails lightly over the back of Sirius’ hand on the way. One of Sirius’ eyebrows shot up in surprise, the statement ‘but you never play back‘ written plainly across his features. Clearing his throat softly so that Sirius would look up, Remus looked him right in the eye and slowly ran his tongue over his upper lip.

Remus nearly lost his composure right then at the thunderstruck look on Sirius’ face. He forced his eyes down to his plate, sure he would collapse into gales of laughter if he looked back up, and there would be no way he could explain what was so funny to the rest of the Order members. He finished eating quickly and stood, murmuring something about being tired.

He hurried upstairs and into the nearest room, anxious to be past Mrs. Black’s portrait before he lost his composure. As soon as the door was shut, he howled with laughter, grabbing the nearest wall for support.

He was still leaning heavily against the wall when Sirius swung open the door and strode in, and the sight of his scowl made Remus start all over again.

“Not funny,” Sirius complained.

“Your face!” Remus gasped. He drew a deep breath and winced at the stitch in his side.

“Caught me off guard!” Sirius protested. “You never do things like that in front of other people!”

“That’s because some of us grew out of acting like we’re sixteen and overcome by hormones all the time,” Remus replied archly. He took several steps over to the bed and sat down to pull off his shoes.

“If you’re so above hormones, why’d you leave dinner early? Why’re we in a bedroom then?” Sirius accused, adding an emphatic “Ha!” to prove his point.

“Because I am tired,” Remus explained as though to a First Year of questionable academics, “and one traditionally sleeps in a bed. Those are usually found in bedrooms, if you’ve forgotten.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, seeming to deflate a little. Remus watched the uncertain flick of the eyes and the tiny lip quiver with an internal sigh. He used to spend hours scheming to make Sirius wibble just for the challenge of it; these days Sirius often seemed to lose the line of the banter and needed repeated reassurance that Remus was only kidding.

“Sirius,” Remus held out a hand, “come here, twit.”

Relief flickered through Sirius’ face as he allowed Remus to tug him closer. He put a hand on the bed on either side of Remus and leaned down to push their foreheads together.

“Sorry,” he apologized, half embarrassed and half frustrated. “I don’t mean to be stupid.”

“Stop talking and kiss me,” Remus commanded, unable to bear another long discussion about all the things Sirius didn’t mean. If nothing else, he knew how to take a direct order.

Remus made a noise of frustration at Sirius’ hesitant brush of lips.

“Padfoot, for the love of all things furry,” Remus growled softly. “This is YOUR bedroom! Does that not imply a willingness to fool around with you?”

Sirius glanced around as if just now noticing what room they were in.

“Oh,” he said, then “oh” again before pressing his body against Remus’ hard enough to drive him flat into the mattress. Remus grunted, feeling too old for this sort of horseplay, but was hardly going to complain while Sirius was finally moving in the right direction.

Sirius gave another tentative brush of lips, but the kiss firmed up nicely after Remus made a small noise of impatient encouragement. Remus reached between them and into Sirius’ robes to start undoing shirt buttons, and Sirius did the same after a moment’s hesitation.

He always was a fast learner, Remus thought just before Sirius’ tongue brushed across his, and he was glad to stop thinking entirely. Somebody’s hands pushed both of their shirts out of the way at last, and Remus gasped into Sirius’ mouth as skin came into contact with skin.

“You’re still cold,” Sirius murmured reproachfully. He bent his head to nibble one of Remus’ earlobes, hands smoothing down Remus’ sides any place their chests weren’t pressed together.

“So warm,” Remus sighed in agreement, rubbing his cheek against Sirius’ and enjoying the scratch of stubble. “You know what the best way to share body heat is?”

“Is this a trick question?” Sirius asked, sliding wet kisses down Remus’ neck.

“It’s to crawl naked under the covers with someone who’s already naked,” Remus enlightened him.

“Best get to it then,” Sirius replied, sliding hands under Remus’ back to lift him up and push off his clothes. The shirt went willingly enough, but the robes were still tangled between and under them. Sirius gave a frustrated snort.

“Didn’t this used to be easier?” he complained. “I seem to remember going right from the kissing to the shagging.”

“There were some bits in between, even at your peak,” Remus laughed gently. He pushed Sirius away slightly so he could sit up and untangle himself. Sirius sat back on his knees and watched with a heavily expectant gaze as Remus undid his robes the whole way and tugged them out from underneath himself, folding them loosely before dropping them to the ground with his shirt.

“Honestly, you want to fold things now?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“I haven’t got enough clothes to go round ruining them by bunching them up,” Remus retorted. “If you’re in such a hurry, you could be getting rid of your own robes, you know.”

Sirius sniffed as though wounded before tugging his shirt and robes over his head all at once and dropping them in a heap on the floor beside the bed. He returned his gaze to Remus to find the werewolf watching him with a predatory stare.

“Don’t stop there,” Remus said in a low voice. “The rest’ll only get in the way eventually.”

Adorably self-conscious, Sirius dropped his hands to his belt and fumbled the buckle open, but hesitated before pushing his trousers down. With another impatient noise, Remus reached over to place his hands over Sirius’ and tugged the fabric down.

“You didn’t use to be so shy,” Remus said lightly, a smile tugging at his mouth as he watched Sirius awkwardly shifting his weight back and forth as he tried to slide the trousers off without tumbling off the bed.

“I used to be all tan and muscley,” Sirius grunted wistfully. “Now I’m all…angley.”

Oh hell, can’t I say anything right? Remus snarled at himself. Out loud he replied, “I like you better this way. Doesn’t make me look so bad when I’m next to you.”

“Stupid liar,” Sirius snarked, kicking the leg the trousers were still clinging to ridiculously. “You know you’re gorgeous.”

“I’m old,” Remus rolled his eyes, reaching down to undo his own trousers.

“I’m old,” Sirius poked himself in the stomach and wrinkled his nose. “You’re distinguished. Let me do that.”

Remus obediently dropped his hands and let Sirius unbutton him and slide the trousers off him much more gracefully than he’d gotten his own off. With a significant glance, Sirius even folded the trousers over his arms before laying them on the floor with an exaggerated motion.

“Happy?” Sirius asked.

“Very,” Remus answered, sliding his body around the right way on the bed and laying his head back on the pillows before tugging Sirius down to him. Sirius’ weight on top of him was good and warm and comforting, and that’s more or less all Remus asked for these days.

It was really just icing on the cake when Sirius kissed his way down Remus’ chest and closed his mouth on Remus’ erection. Remus had no business asking for such added pleasures as the slick black hair tangled around his fingers or the dark blue eyes staring up at him or the soft throat noises that seemed to reverberate through his whole body. He had no business asking for any of these things, but that only made receiving them more achingly perfect.

Sirius’ open mouthed stare said he felt the same way when Remus returned the favor.

Afterwards, Remus was too tired and satiated to complain when Sirius crawled out of bed for a shower rather than cuddled, his post-Azkaban obsession with cleanliness being one more thing Remus just put up with irelessly. He only murmured that Sirius ought to put something on in case he ran into anybody in the corridor.

Sirius ruffled Remus’ hair affectionately as he bent to scoop his pajama bottoms off the floor where he’d thrown them that morning. Remus watched with a glimmer of interest as Sirius tugged the bottoms on and let the waistband snap close to his skin.

“OW!”

Remus cackled with glee as Sirius plunged his hand down the bottoms and tore something away from the fabric, the flimsy Sticking Charm breaking with a sound like tearing Velcro. He pulled out a very familiar-looking sprig of holly, peering at it for a moment before turning to scowl at Remus.

“Just spreading some holiday cheer!” Remus snickered.

“You’ll be spreading more than that when I’m through with you!” Sirius exclaimed indignantly, leaping back onto the bed and attempting to make the chortling, wriggling werewolf eat the plant in question. He succeeded only in rolling them both off the bed with a painful thump and getting a berry up his nose.

A knock at the door interrupted their scuffle. Sirius gave the still-laughing Remus a final shove before climbing to his feet and stomping towards the door.

“What?!” he demanded of a suspicious Molly Weasley.

“Is everything all right in here?” Molly asked, peering over Sirius’ shoulder and turning a bit red when she caught sight of Remus heaving an armload of blankets back onto the bed and wearing nothing but a wide grin. “I heard some funny noises…”

“Everything’s fine,” Sirius informed her curtly. He took Molly’s hand and dropped a crushed sprig of holly into her palm. “Why don’t you go spread some holiday cheer or something.”

Sirius tugged the door shut behind him and brushed past Molly. He paused with an odd look on his face, as if he were about to sneeze, then reached up and pinched one of his nostrils shut. He held out his other hand and blew, and a red berry shot out of the other nostril and into his palm. Examining the berry with a grunt, Sirius continued down the hall and shut the bathroom door in a not-quite-slam.

Molly quickly shook the holly off her hand, completely disgusted.