Title: Runs on Smiles [Sora, Strelitzia]
Rating/Warnings: Gen
Summary: Strelitzia is not buying Sora’s “this ship runs on smiles” nonsense. Set in Quadratum.
AN: Written for Shiritori.
Runs on Smiles
“Maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way?” Sora said. It took some effort to get his “making a new friend please trust me” smile onto his face, but it hadn’t ever failed him before.
Strelitzia, surprisingly, was not won over by his usual schtick. “You don’t seem to think they’re coming to find you, so they don’t sound like that much of a treasure. Are these the same friends who taught you to paste on that fake smile?”
“Huh? No!” Sora dropped his eyes as his expression faded back to a tense frown. “Well, sort of. Our ship runs on smiles.”
“Then I don’t think it’ll fly here,” Strelitzia said tartly. “From what you’ve told me so far, it sounds like ignoring your limits is exactly how you got yourself stuck outside of your own reality.”
“Crying about it won’t help anything,” Sora argued. His hands kept tugging restlessly at his jacket and hoodie, his clothes rubbing his skin in unfamiliar places. “If i just keep going and keep trying, it’ll work itself out!”
“You really believe that, huh,” Strelitzia murmured, quietly as if she was talking to herself more than Sora. She was silent a moment, and her lack of counterargument took some of the wind out of Sora’s sails. “Let me see your phone?”
“Sure, I guess…” Sora pulled his phone out, thumbed it unlocked, and handed it over. Strelitzia held it up, pointed at him.
“Smile,” she said. Sora complied, giving her a few of his usual selfie faces on autopilot as soon as he caught on. His smile started to strain around the edges as it went on longer than he expected, but eventually Strelitzia nodded, satisfied. “Come look.”
“I know what I look like,” Sora said self-consciously, rubbing the back of his hair as he came to stand at her shoulder.
“Do you?” she asked mildly. She swiped back and forth through the dozen pictures she’d taken until she settled on one, then unpinched it bigger until Sora’s face took up most of the screen. “Do you really see yourself?”
“You told me to smile, I’m smiling.” Sora felt defensive without knowing why. He looked the same as usual, same hair spikes, same ears sticking out, same smile.
Strelitzia used two fingers to cover Sora’s mouth, hiding his smile. “How about now?”
“I don’t see what you’re…” Sora trailed off because he did see. Looking at just the top half of his face, his brow was tense, the rings under his eyes were deeper, and his eyes looked somehow washed out from their usual blue. He looked tired and sad, like the way his heart was heavy lead in his chest. Nothing like a hero of light. “Fine, you made your point.”
“How about now?” Strelitzia lifted her fingers back up, and oh, now it was even worse. The disjointed way that Sora’s smile didn’t match his eyes was all wrong, sort of creepy, like a him that wasn’t him at all.
“Stop it,” Sora snapped, tugging the phone out of her hands and clicking it dark. “Of course I’m tired! Of course I feel bad! But feeling that stuff doesn’t fix anything! If every time I got lost or was too weak I just sat there and cried, I’d have never found Riku, or saved Kairi, or met Donald and Goofy or learned magic or saved the worlds or—” Sora’s fists had clenched tight and to his horror, tendrils of darkness started to steam off them. His voice choked off as panic locked his chest tight, unable to stop himself or calm down. Could he turn into Rage Form here? What would happen if he did? “Get back, I might, I’m—”
Strelitzia cupped one of Sora’s fists in her hands, her touch cool and comforting. “Don’t you think all the feelings in you have a purpose, not just the happy ones? If you only let some out, but keep the rest locked inside you, what do you think happens to your heart?”
“I don’t know,” Sora muttered. Tears welled up in his eyes, hot where they rolled down his cheeks, but Sora felt detached from them, like they weren’t his, like when it had been Roxas’s heart crying and just using Sora’s face to do it. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything, I guess.”
“None of that either,” Strelitzia ordered, her sympathetic expression turning stern. “You don’t have to play dumb or fake smile or anything else with me. Since we’re stuck here, I want to see the real you, all right?”
“Ok,” Sora agreed, even though he didn’t really understand anything that was happening. He scrubbed his hand across his eyes, willing them to stop leaking. They did not. “Now what?”
“We should go for a walk, maybe that will clear your head,” Strelitzia decided. She was already heading for the door; Sora trailed along behind somewhat helplessly. “Are you hungry? We can get bubble tea!”
