Title: Take Me Home Tonight [pairing]
Rating/Warnings: R
Summary: Bakugou finally agrees to bring Kaminari home, but Midoriya says he’s the least well-kept secret on the block.
AN: Written for Shiritori. Maxie wrote some hot Bakugou/Kaminari/Midoriya and I was surprisingly so into it I wrote this.
Take Me Home Tonight
The excited smile on Kaminari’s face was worth it when Bakugou finally agreed to let Kaminari come along on his trip home for the weekend. He’d been slumped on the couch, chewing idly on his phone charger, until Midoriya had rested elbows on the back of the couch and said Bakugou had a surprise for him. Now he was sitting bolt upright, practically crackling with delight.
“It’s not a big deal,” Bakugou said, exasperated, as Kaminari slapped a high-five with Midoriya. “You’ve met my parents! They lived here for weeks during evacuation!”
“If it’s not a big deal, why wouldn’t you let me come with you?” Kaminari retorted. “Besides, meeting them is one thing. I want to see you in your natural habitat.”
“Fuck off, I’m not an endangered beetle,” Bakugou grumbled.
“Izuku’s taken me home twice already,” Kaminari reminded, making Bakugou’s mouth pinch tight. “You’re totally losing to this guy.”
“Don’t tell him that, geez,” Midoriya protested, giving the back of Kaminari’s head a shove. “It’s not something to get jealous over! It’s just easier if there’s another person for my mom to fuss over than when it’s just me.”
“Plus she loves me,” Kaminari said smugly. He leaned his head back to make a kissy face at Midoriya. “I fixed her vacuum!”
“Hmph.” Bakugou scuffed his heel against the dorm carpet. “Does she know about him?”
“Yeah, she guessed right away,” Midoriya said, cheeks turning pink. “I didn’t explain it all but I think she’s probably figured all of us out, since she keeps asking why I don’t bring you home too.”
“Oh, is that why?” Kaminari leaned forward to examine Bakugou more carefully. “You don’t want your mom to know about us? Do you think she’ll be weird about it? That would suck, she’s so cool!”
“No, I think she’d think it was hilarious,” Bakugou says sourly, glaring harder at the carpet. “It’s bad enough our moms spent years insisting we’d be friends again and turned out to be right, all this time mine’s said I’d never get a date while I was acting like an asshole and I said a million times I didn’t want to date anyone anyway so I’d just be an asshole harder!”
“That’s really easy to picture, ne,” Kaminari commented. “To bad I think jerks are hot. Izuku, what’s your excuse?”
“A childhood of exposure conditioning,” Midoriya said. When Bakugou lifted his eyes, Midoriya had his cheek resting against his palm, expression fond. “Spent all my formative years with this dick and now I can probably only get hard for petty assholes.”
“Hey!” Kaminari protested, trying to look offended but laughing. “I’m not petty! You are into my ass, though.”
“This is the exact reason I don’t want to take you home,” Bakugou said, thinking about changing his whole mind. Before he could storm off, Kaminari stretched out a hand to grab Bakugou’s wrist. The static shock of his touch made Bakugou grunt as Kaminari dragged him over and yanked him down on the couch, half sprawled across Kaminari’s lap. “Fucking ouch! Why the fuck didn’t it hurt when you touched Deku?”
“Well…” Izuku held up a hand, flickers of green lightning between his fingers.
“Ugh, fuck you both,” Bakugou said, shifting his position so he was more settled back against Kaminari and less taking a knee to the kidney. Kaminari’s arm slid in around Bakugou’s waist, fingers teasing just under the hem of Bakugou’s T-shirt. “You cannot make jokes about any of this gay shit with my mom OR call me names, or this is off.”
“Kacchan, she definitely knows you’re a twink,” Midoriya chuckled, dropping a hand to poke him between the eyebrows. “That’s like the least kept secret on our block. I think what you’re really worried about is that she’ll like Denki so much that she’ll give YOU the threatening talk about breaking his heart.”
“Your FACE is a twink!” Bakugou snapped, reaching up to twist a hand in Midoriya’s T-shirt. He yanked Midoriya over the back of the couch with a surprised yelp, but his split-second of revenge cut off abruptly when Midoriya landed hard on top of him with roughly the gravity of a neutron star. He kept forgetting this idiot weighed more every week from OFA muscle mass, plus to add insult to injury he got another static shock from Full Cowl. “Fuck,” he wheezed. “I’m breaking up with both of you.”
