SixTONES, Not Someday But Now

Title: Not Someday But Now [Jesse/Juri]
Rating/Warnings: Hard R
Summary: Jesse has had this crush on Juri for years, but he’s never found the right time to do something about it.
AN: Repost from Je United exchange. Title from BE CRAZY. oru_desu wanted SixTONES, fluff, humor, and possessiveness, so I hope you like what I ended up writing.

Not Someday But Now

It felt like Juri had always been nearby. Realistically Jesse knew that wasn’t right, that he had been in Johnny’s for more than a year before Juri joined, but it didn’t feel that way. When he looked back, Juri was always at the center of those memories, his wide grin the same then as now no matter how many ridiculous hairstyles he’s had in between. Shintarou and Taiga had been there too, and later Hokuto and Kouchi, but they didn’t fill the vision of Jesse’s memories the way that Juri did. Maybe it was because Juri had always been in Jesse’s group, had always been close enough to grab Jesse’s hand.

Maybe it was for other reasons.

One of Jesse’s clearest memories from the beginning of Hip Hop JUMP was of practicing a medley song and being too nervous to sing properly. The others had ignored his shy attempts, focused on their own problems, but Juri had better people sense even then.

“Do it louder,” Juri had ordered, but it wasn’t like when Shintarou snapped at him and made Jesse hot with embarrassment. Juri was encouraging him. “Your voice is nice, I like it.”

“You do?” Jesse had asked shyly. Juri had nodded and grinned at him, and that was the first time Jesse could remember them singing together, the first time he could remember Juri making his heart skip half its beats. They’d become something like best friends after that, eventually, and having nothing to compare it to, Jesse assumed that all best friends felt like this, like sometimes his throat was squeezed so tight with affection that only one of Juri’s sudden, crushing hugs could push the air out of his lungs again.

It wasn’t until later, until Kouchi and he gelled, that Jesse understood that the way he loved Juri wasn’t like a best friend at all. Kouchi was slapped shoulders and wrestling and empty classroom set hallways and high fives that left Jesse’s hands stinging. Juri was whispering across futons at sleepovers and shoulders pressed together on the train and napping in dressing rooms with his cheek on Juri’s leg and catching eyes across the stage with no words needed. Juri was a smile focused on just Jesse that made him feel like he could do anything.

It was either good or disastrous, depending on how you looked at it, that Jesse was named for Sprout just after. A few weeks into filming, the director was standing in front of Jesse to coach him, trying to describe what romantic love felt like, or at least romantic love in the way it was supposed to look filmed for a weeknight J-drama.

“Do you like running?” the director had asked, and Jesse nodded that he liked it well enough. “It’s like that. Your heart is racing and your face is hot, your palms sweat, your skin prickles, even if you want to talk you can’t get your lungs to work right. But you like it. You want to run five more kilometers just to keep feeling it. Have you ever felt like that?”

Over the director’s shoulder, Juri was kicking a soccer ball around with Yasui, flying over the grass and pulling Jesse’s heart along with him like a kite. They were a hundred yards away, but Juri’s laughter might as well have been whispered into Jesse’s ear.

“Yeah, I have,” Jesse answered. The director clapped him on the shoulder, and the scene had been filmed without a hitch after that.

Jesse wasn’t a moron, or at least not one enough to think that it was normal to think about a friend when you were filming a romantic drama. But at barely sixteen he wasn’t ready to do anything about it. Maybe he would have worked up the courage eventually, with the other four at his back, if management hadn’t split Jesse and Hokuto off on their own. When they met up again after that awkward set of Crea shows, Jesse felt like the moment when he could have been fearless had passed already, a strange gap between him and Juri that he hated but didn’t know how to bridge.

“Hey, don’t worry about things that aren’t your fault.” Juri jostled Jesse’s shoulder with his own, mistaking Jesse’s awkwardness for anxiety about the split. “Since when have any of us needed a unit name to be friends?”

He’d given Jesse one of those smiles, just when Jesse needed it the most like always, and Jesse had decided that things were good, like this. A crush was nothing compared to the strength of the friendship between them, and Jesse needed that more than he needed anything else.

It wasn’t like he never had a crush on anyone else in those in-between years. There weren’t a million of them, and none of them were Juri, but there were enough for Jesse to give away his first kiss, his first broken heart, and the rest of his firsts too. He didn’t feel any regrets about them, not when he could still curl up in the futon next to Juri’s and talk about it in quiet voices, the gap between them narrow enough to whisper across it.

“Is it weird for me to talk to you about this?” Jesse asked once, pausing in the middle of a story about trying to unclasp a senpai’s sexy but complicated black lace bra.

“No,” Juri answered, making Jesse’s shoulders relax. Juri shifted, the blankets rustling in the dark. “I don’t mind. Just a little surprised it’s not Kouchi you tell it to.”

“I do sometimes,” Jesse said. They were close, and Jesse loved Kouchi fiercely, but in the familiar dark of Juri’s room Jesse found it easier to show the unsure or anxious side of himself. Juri wouldn’t judge him, he knew. Juri didn’t depend on him to be unfailingly cheerful or positive the way the others did sometimes.

“Tell me something you haven’t told him,” Juri said after a minute.

“Sure,” Jesse agreed immediately, his old crush flickering in his chest pleasantly while he tried to think of something suitable. He had something, but maybe it was too much. “I…I think Sato-kun’s briefs are a lot sexier than Iwata-senpai’s bra.” Jesse blushed, glad the dark hid it from Juri. “Hey, that’s a secret, right?”

“If you want,” Juri said, not sounded bothered at all. Jesse sighed silently, relieved. “Although I don’t think it’s much of a secret that you swing both ways, Lewis. And I’m not that surprised about Sato-kun, either.”

Jesse laughed, face muffled against the pillow so Juri’s mother wouldn’t yell at them through the wall. Even if his secrets weren’t that secret, Jesse was glad to share them with Juri.

Jesse had been doing all right like that, all that time, until Crea. In the months leading up to it, all of Jesse’s emotional energy had been pouring into getting a group and keeping it, the right group, his group. When they named themselves and it stuck, suddenly all of those emotions had nowhere else to go, so they circled right back to where they always did, to Juri—Juri grinning at Jesse so widely that his eyes were barely visible, Juri hugging Jesse backstage so hard that he was surprised he didn’t crack a rib.

And then there was the damn Gamushara Summer Station. Jesse wanted to ask the staff if they were trying to kill him or what, because the thing that he had always been weakest to was Juri effortlessly getting along with everyone in any group. During practically the first practice, Juri had given up his break to help Myuto without a second thought, and Jesse had clutched his water bottle so tightly that it crackled, praying his face wasn’t showing the camera the blaze of affection lighting up his chest.

It wasn’t the easiest summer for them, between their tricks, Masuda’s injury, and just the mix of personalities. Usually starting performances took some of the anxiety out of it, but this year things only got more frustrating when they started to actually compete, especially after the trainer forbid Masuda to do anything at all and they had to re-choreograph their entire competition routine.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Jesse told Juri during a break between shows. They’d only done five of their performances so far, with about a million more to go. Exhaustion and nerves had stripped away some of Jesse’s usual cheer, leaving him to talk to Juri more straightforwardly than usual. “Doing this alone would be so much worse.”

“Idiot, you’re never alone,” Juri said, reaching over to squeeze Jesse’s hand briefly. His smile was tired but real, and Jesse felt Juri’s palm against his all through second performance, no matter how many times the rough surface of the basketball slapped against it.

There were at least fifty reasons why confessing to Juri was a terrible idea, and Jesse tried to remind himself of them any time it felt like Juri was getting under his skin in exactly the right way. Their friendship was too important, their group was too new, summer crushes never lasted. It was that last one Jesse repeated the most often that summer, even when Gamushara finally dragged to a close and they were dumped into Shounentachi practices. The six of them had so much work to do, to catch up with Snow Man, and Jesse had so much work to do, to keep up with Taiga’s new voice, and summer crushes never lasted.

Never mind that Jesse had had the same summer crush for about a hundred years by then.

“All right.” Taiga folded his hands on the low table and looked down at Jesse through his glasses. “Tell me when the symptoms started.”

Flopped on his back on the floor of their Shounentachi dressing room, Jesse whined and gave Taiga a dirty look. “You playing psychologist never helps anything, plus you like it way too much.”

“Your mom likes it way too much,” Taiga responded with practiced ease. “Also, it would help a lot of things if you just answered my questions yourself instead of moping around like a lovesick blob.”

Jesse’s response to that was to roll onto his stomach and make blob noises against the tatami.

“You don’t even know when, do you?” Taiga clicked his tongue sympathetically and reached down to pat Jesse on the head like a grade schooler who needed comfort. “Can you even remember a time when you weren’t one-hundred percent, in-over-your-head, romcom in love with Juri?”

Jesse rolled onto his side to frown at Taiga. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like it’s pathetic.” Jesse poked Taiga’s thigh, then left his fingers curled in the slick material of Taiga’s track pants. “Don’t say it like that.”

“It’s not your feelings that are pathetic, it’s the way you won’t do anything about them,” Taiga informed him. Jesse opened his mouth, but Taiga cut him off. “And don’t give me any crap about how things are fine this way, either. If things were fine, you wouldn’t be lying on your face making blob noises.”

“Don’t be jealous of my blob impression,” Jesse tried to deflect, but Taiga was having none of it.

“You’ve had it bad for that guy ever since he helped you fix your first backwards Hip Hop JUMP costume, so I think it’s time to give up hope that it’s just a crush and it’ll pass,” Taiga said firmly. He brushed Jesse’s fingers off his thigh. “Just tell him. I mean, honestly, he has to already know, don’t you think? Since you managed to magic this unit out of your ass just to keep him stuck to you.”

“It wasn’t just for him!” Jesse protested, trying to slap at Taiga’s leg, and when Taiga batted his hand away, Jesse sat up to shove at his shoulder instead. “Although at the moment I’m regretting keeping you too, asshole.”

“Don’t take it out on me because you don’t want to hear the truth.” Taiga shoved Jesse’s shoulder hard with his own. “And if you don’t want the truth, what are you coming to me for, anyway? Go whine to Hoku or Shin-chan if you just want some bro code bullshit. Seriously, Lewis, what is the hold up? You can show thousands of fangirls your nipples without a trace of shame, but you can’t tell one dude you like him?”

“I’ll ruin it,” Jesse blurted, letting his hands drop into his lap. “I’ll ruin everything! I was so scared they’d take me away in the end. After everything, we’re finally a unit and we have a name and our own songs and Shounentachi. This way I get to keep Juri, at least for now, I get to keep all of you. What good will telling him do? Whether he says yes or no, it’ll change everything. So I just can’t, okay? If I do something stupid and wreck all of this, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”

“You idiot,” Taiga hissed with such venom that Jesse jerked his gaze back up. Taiga was glaring at him so fiercely that a shiver ran up Jesse’s spine. “Do you really think our group’s so weak it’s something you could break just like that? Just how dumb are you?”

Jesse’s mouth worked for a second, but more unexpected than Taiga’s outburst was the fierceness of the hug that Taiga wrapped Jesse in just after. Jesse pressed his cheek to Taiga’s shoulder and snaked arms around Taiga’s middle to squeeze him back.

“Have a little faith, asshole,” Taiga grunted. He slapped Jesse on the back and shoved him away. “Confess or I’ll write a skit for the ad-lib section and take care of it myself.”

It sounded so easy when Taiga said it. But as it turned out, Jesse had spent so long training himself not to spill his feelings to Juri that he wasn’t sure he could undo that training now. He would gear himself up to do it, go find Juri and open his mouth, but as soon as Juri was looking at him, all the words would get stuck in his chest, brain gone to white static.

“Something you want?” Juri asked, noticing Jesse hovering behind him. He offered Jesse his water bottle, but Jesse shook his head.

“No,” his mouth answered, even while one very frustrated corner of his brain wailed ‘yeeees.’ “No, nothing, nope, uh-uh.”

“Oookay.” Juri took another long drink from his water bottle, eyeing Jesse. “But you’re acting kind of weird, man. Are you sure there’s nothing you want to talk about?”

“I…” Jesse tried, he really did, but he just couldn’t. “Nah, it’s nothing. never mind.”

Jesse slunk away in defeat and went to find Kouchi, because Kouchi would be nice to him and not tell him he was being stupid or call him any names.

“Awww, you idiot,” Kouchi cooed, patting Jesse’s head where it was pillowed in his lap. “Taiga’s right, you are dumb.”

“You’re actually the worst best friend in the entire universe,” Jesse informed him, glaring. “Be nice to me!”

“Treating you like spoiled group baby is how we got here,” Kouchi said. His head-patting turned into fingers stroking through Jesse’s hair, which Jesse enjoyed against his will. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing. You can practice on me if you want.”

“No, it’s weird.” Jesse tried to imagine telling Kouchi he loved him and snickered. “Gross! And you’d make this face.” Jesse rolled onto his back to do an impression of Kouchi’s face when he was panicking about tiny juniors hurting themselves, all tight smile and nervous eyes.

“I don’t make that face!” Kouchi started laughing too. “Come on, just try it. If you say it a few times out loud, it’ll make it easier, even if it’s me. Pretend they’re lines for the show or something.”

Jesse heaved a sigh, then tried to flatten his face into a serious expression and look earnestly into Kouchi’s eyes. “Juri, I’m in love with you.”

“You sound like you’re telling me you have a disease,” Kouchi said. “Try again.”

“I don’t want to be friends anymore. No, ugh.” Jesse gritted his teeth. “I mean, I don’t want to be just friends, I want, you know, because I love…you…”

Kouchi shook his head. “Nope.”

“AAAGH,” Jesse snapped in frustration, going limp against the floor. “I can’t do this! I like him so much I feel like I’m going to die and then I get all nervous and then I can’t even hardly talk to him! I can barely stand in the same room with him sometimes! If I don’t tell him that I want to be more than friends, we aren’t even going to be regular friends soon!”

“There you go,” Kouchi said gently, making Jesse look up at him in surprise. “That’s the one. Now try again.”

“Oh.” Jesse sat up so that he was looking Kouchi right in the eyes. But then he closed his own eyes, pretending it was really Juri there. “I like you. I like you so much I can hardly stand next to you, or talk to you, or anything lately. I was afraid if I told you, we couldn’t be friends anymore. But now I’m afraid if I don’t tell you, we won’t be friends anyway.”

“Jesse…” Kouchi tried to interrupt.

“Shut up,” Jesse said. “So I’m telling you, I love you. Okay? How was that.” Jesse opened his eyes, then frowned at Kouchi’s slightly panicked expression. “Kouchi?”

“HAHA SORRY,” Juri’s voice came from behind Jesse, filling him with horror. Sure enough, when he turned to look, Juri was standing in the doorway, eyes as wide as Kouchi’s, wearing a very fake smile. “I’m sorry to interrupt! I’m really happy for you two!”

“No!” Jesse all but shouted, heart rate skyrocketing. “No no no! It’s not what—”

“Totally fine!” Juri went right on. “I won’t tell anybody, don’t worry. I’ll make sure nobody bothers you for the rest of break!”

And then he was gone, door shutting behind him, and Jesse was still frozen in panic.

“Jesse,” Kouchi started.

“YOU!” Jesse whirled around to shout in Kouchi’s face. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! HE THINKS I LOVE YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!”

“Then what are you sitting here for?!” Kouchi demanded, shoving Jesse’s shoulders. “Hurry up! Run! Go get him!”

Somehow Jesse found himself doing exactly what Kouchi said, the panic clawing at his chest making it all seem perfectly reasonable for him to leap to his feet and run out the door, socked feet sliding on the floor as he tried to make the turn to chase Juri down the hallway. Juri hadn’t quite turned the corner yet, looking up in surprise as Jesse had burst out the doorway, and when Jesse tried to stop right in front of him, his socks slipped on the floor and he ended up almost crushing Juri against the wall in a tangle of limbs.

“Shit, sorry,” Jesse panted as he tried to untangle himself, patting down Juri’s T-shirt and arms for injuries. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to, are you okay?”

“Fine, fine,” Juri assured, pushing Jesse back a step gently. “I’m fine. Shouldn’t you go back there? Did Kouchi even answer you yet? I mean it, I’m really fine that—”

“NO,” Jesse all but shouted in Juri’s face. He couldn’t catch his breath, and the harder he tried to get out the words to explain, the more panic made it impossible. “I mean, you don’t understand!”

Juri just smiled, fond and amused, which only made Jesse’s irritation burn hotter. “I really think I do, dude.”

“No, you don’t.” Jesse took the deepest breath he could and let it out again. “I wasn’t confessing to Kouchi. I’m not in love with Kouchi. I was practicing. He was trying to help me practice.”

Juri raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“For…dammit, why is this so hard?” Jesse demanded, frustrated. “It’s not Kouchi I like, it’s you! I’ve been trying to tell you for ages, but I can’t get my feelings across to you. When I try, I get too scared, and I can’t say anything at all.”

Juri smiled, just a little. “What could Jesse Lewis possibly be scared of?”

“Of ruining everything. Of losing you.” Jesse looked at Juri’s face anxiously, trying to figure out his reaction. He couldn’t figure out what Juri was thinking at all.

“Am I that important?” Juri asked.

“Yes,” Jesse said, voice desperate. “Yes. So, that’s it, those are my feelings. I like you. More than friends. More than anyone. If you don’t feel that way, that’s f—”

“I was really mad,” Juri interrupted. “When I heard what you said to Kouchi. I didn’t want you to say them to anyone else. I guess that’s jealousy, right?”

“I like you.” Jesse tried to think of what on earth he had even said to Kouchi, but his whole brain felt fuzzy with hope. “I like you so much I can barely stand next you. I can barely talk to you, that’s how much I like you.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Juri said, and then he fisted a hand in the front of Jesse’s T-shirt and pulled him down.

Before their lips touched, though, the dressing room door nearest them swung open with a bang, making Jesse and Juri freeze.

“Aww, Ryota, I said I’ll eat it later…ohh,” Watanabe said when he got a good look at Jesse and Juri. “What’s this, what’s this?” He paused in the doorway, folding his arms with a grin. Behind him, Miyadate’s face peered over his shoulder. “It’s a confession, right?”

“Maybe,” Juri said. Jesse whined, ears burning. “It took this guy forever.”

“Really? Aw, but confessions are easy.” Watanabe leaned back a little against Miyadate. “Hey, Ryota, I really like you.”

“I like you, too,” Miyadate replied, pressing a casual kiss to Watanabe’s cheek while one arm slid around Watanabe’s waist possessively.

“Mmhmm,” Watanabe hummed in approval. “See? Easy.”

“That’s not fair, you started in kindergarten!” Jesse whined, cheeks now starting to get red too. “Get lost, huh? I didn’t even get my answer yet!”

“Sorry, can’t,” Kouchi’s voice joined in, coming down the hallway. “It’s time already.”

“But—”

“I accept,” Juri spoke up, sliding arms around Jesse’s waist and squeezing him tightly. “There’s your answer.”

“O-oh,” Jesse said, hugging back. His shoulders relaxed, wind taken out of his protests. “Good, then.”

“Also it’s really cute when you blush totally pink like that,” Juri murmured, quietly enough that only Jesse heard that part, setting him off all over again.

Jesse was kind of a mess for the entire afternoon show, tripping over his own feet and bumping into things, forgetting which costume he was supposed to wear next and singing an accidental solo when he started “Kono Hoshi no HIKARI” halfway through the intro.

“Sorryyyyyy,” Jesse wailed during the MC when Watanabe pointed out all his mistakes mercilessly, Taiga standing next to him with arms folded and a stern expression. Jesse made a pleading face at the audience. “You don’t mind, right? Tell them to take it easy on me!”

The audience giggled and shrieked for him obligingly, and Hokuto clapped his hands and said okay, okay, that was enough picking on their frontman.

“Especially when Watanabe-kun hasn’t landed a flip all day,” Juri teased slyly, making Shintarou burst into laughter beside him, and Watanabe scowl.

Juri’s fingers brushed against Jesse’s lightly, and Jesse linked them together to squeeze quickly in thanks.

When the show was finally over, Jesse heaved a sigh of relief at being able to slip backstage and at least not have his flustered nerves on display in front of hundreds of fangirls. Even if they thought it was cute and would forgive him, it was still embarrassing. Jesse felt awkward and tongue-tied as he changed next to Juri, trying not to look at him and having no idea what to say.

“So,” Juri finally said, putting Jesse out of his misery. “Are we going to go out, or what?”

“Y-yeah,” Jesse agreed. “We should. I’d like that.”

“So ask me out, stupid,” Juri prompted. Jesse started laughing at his serious expression and couldn’t stop, but Juri waited patiently.

“Please go out with me,” Jesse finally managed. “I promise I’ll stop being weird once the adrenaline wears off.”

“Don’t promise that, what fun would you be if you weren’t weird?” Juri wanted to know. He shouldered his bag with one hand and offered his other hand to Jesse. “Just be you. That’s always been good enough for me.”

“Stop saying all the right shit, I’m never going to stop blushing,” Jesse complained, but he slid his fingers through Juri’s and wrapped them tightly together. “Let’s go get some food. I’ll buy you anything you want if you don’t say anything else embarrassing while we’re in public.”

“Or I can pay for you and say anything I want, how about that?”

In the end Juri behaved himself while they ate at a family restaurant, and Jesse proudly claimed the right to pay the bill, since it was his confession and all. The adrenaline did wear off, making Jesse feel heavy with exhaustion, but things were easy between them as if nothing much had changed. It wasn’t like they could kiss or hold hands in public, so as much as Jesse was looking forward to those things, it took off some of the pressure.

By the time they dragged themselves out of the booth, it was late enough that Jesse winced when he looked at his watch.

“Just come home with me, I’m closer,” Juri said, like he had a thousand other times. Jesse eyed him, hesitating. “Unless you’re gonna make it weird.”

Jesse stuck his tongue out. “You said you like it when I’m weird.”

“Tanakas do like freaky shit,” Juri admitted freely. “Come on, boyfriend, walk me home.”

He turned to go without watching to see if Jesse followed, but there was never any doubt. Jesse felt a little shiver of nerves returning at Juri calling him his boyfriend for the first time, and he couldn’t stop the wide grin spreading over his face as he jogged the few steps to catch up with Juri.

More of Jesse’s nerves returned when they were soaking in the bath together, but he tried to ignore them. It seemed a silly thing to argue about when their whole unit was showering together regularly, and Juri didn’t do anything more suggestive then splash water in Jesse’s face. They were too tired to do much more than flop into their futons anyway, pushed close together like usual, and Jesse was all right to leave it like that for the moment as he stretched an arm out to flip off the lamp.

“Leave it,” Juri said, making Jesse pause in surprise. “Should I be insulted you haven’t tried to take advantage of me even a little?”

Jesse was so sick of blushing today. “I didn’t want to pressure you. It’s not all like that.”

“It’s a little like that, right? Or else what difference would confessing make?” Juri let one arm flop out to the side in invitation. “Get over here already.”

And just like that Jesse’s nerves went into overdrive again, heart beating quickly as he slid over until his side was pressed against Juri’s and turning so that he was braced on his elbow looking down at Juri. Juri didn’t seem nervous at all, smiling faintly. His hair was still damp from the bath and he was wearing a T-shirt so worn the collar was tearing away from the rest of the shirt, but to Jesse he looked cutest like this. To Jesse he was perfect.

Drawing it out was just making him more panicky, so before he could talk himself out of it, Jesse leaned down and fitted his mouth against Juri’s. It was nice, Juri’s lips warm and soft against his, even nicer when Juri kissed back and one of his hands came up to grip Jesse’s shoulder. After a few seconds, Jesse relaxed enough that more of his weight was resting against Juri’s chest.

Eventually the kiss broke on its own, and Jesse opened his eyes to find Juri blinking up at him with half-closed eyes. Jesse’s chest tightened with a warm knot of just how much he liked Juri. “Juri?”

“Mm?” Juri asked. The hand that had been on Jesse’s shoulder slid up a little so that Juri’s fingers were brushing through the ends of Jesse’s hair.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer this,” Jesse started. “Since you already said you agreed. And you said you felt jealous. So…do you like me? I was just wondering. Because I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, but I surprised you with it suddenly.”

Juri didn’t answer for a few seconds, thinking it over while he continued stroking his fingers through Jesse’s hair.

“It’s like…Shintarou,” Juri finally said. Jesse frowned but didn’t interrupt. “I love Shin. He’s my best friend, you know? Do anything for him, nothing I can’t tell him. But I wouldn’t roll over and tell him to kiss me. It’s different. You’re my best friend too, but this feels different.”

“Yeah.” Jesse grinned. That was more than good enough for the moment. “I know what you mean, definitely.”

“Good, because I’m not done kissing you.”

That was just fine by Jesse. Even though they both had shows again the next day and needed all the rest they could get, Jesse couldn’t get enough of kissing Juri now that he was allowed to. All of it felt good, Juri’s arms around his neck, the worn cotton of Juri’s T-shirt under Jesse’s hands, the flicker of Juri’s pulse when Jesse kissed his way down Juri’s throat.

“Hey, take this off,” Juri murmured, tugging on Jesse’s T-shirt, and then it was even better when they were skin-to-skin. Maybe Juri always looked like he could use a couple extra meals, but his muscles were strong from dance, smooth and sleek under Jesse’s hands. When Jesse rolled over onto Juri fully, they fit together just as well as Jesse had always hoped they would.

Juri was getting hard against Jesse’s thigh, and even distracted by Juri’s mouth and hands, Jesse realized that they had to stop if they weren’t going much further.

“Should I stop?” Jesse asked. He lifted his head enough to watch for Juri’s reaction as he skimmed a hand down Juri’s side. He stopped with his hand on the waistband of Juri’s sweatpants.

Juri’s smile was full of heat, making Jesse squirm pleasantly. “I feel like there’s an option 2 coming. Tell me what you’re thinking about? Your face says it’s pretty good.”

“Maybe…” Jesse’s ears burned as he tried to get the words out. “Can I suck you off?”

“Oh shit.” Juri laughed a little, but Jesse felt Juri shiver underneath him. “Yeah, definitely. Did you think I’d say no to that?”

“I only told you I liked you like eight hours ago,” Jesse pointed out, embarrassment and want rolled into a confusing ball in his stomach. “I was hoping you would be the responsible one in the relationship.”

Juri had to muffle his laughter against Jesse’s shoulder until he could get himself under control, but Jesse hardly minded the hold up in their progress. Jesse thought it was perfect that sex could be like this, funny and easy at the same time it was hot. The awkward parts would work themselves out, he assumed, but even if they didn’t Jesse wouldn’t care so long as Juri kept laughing against him like that.

Once Juri calmed down a little, they pushed his sweatpants down far enough that he could kick them off, Jesse trying to help making it more awkward. Juri was almost hard already, and wrapped a hand around himself to get himself the rest of the way there. “You’re sure about this? You don’t have to.”

Jesse nodded, pushing Juri’s hand away as he settled between Juri’s legs. “Hands off, it’s my turn.”

“Yes, yes,” Juri agreed easily, putting both hands behind his head so that it was easier to see. “Let’s see the magic already.”

Jesse swallowed the Casey Anderson joke that was right on the tip of his tongue and got down to business instead. He hadn’t been lying that he’d thought about Juri like this, about how good he’d make Juri feel, how Juri would look flushed and hard and spread out all for him. After all of those daydreams, he wasn’t going to back out now.

He wrapped a hand around Juri’s cock and stroked a few times, squeezing tighter until Juri made a quiet noise. Once he was sure he had it right, Jesse leaned in to lick at the Juri’s tip, glancing up for Juri’s reaction. When their eyes met, Jesse felt a wave of heat work over his skin from the attention. Juri reached down to touch Jesse’s hair, then paused, fingers light enough to feel, barely.

“This okay?” Juri asked. Jesse blinked slowly to say yes, mouth otherwise occupied. Juri slid fingers in between the strands and tugged a little. “This?”

This time Jesse did lift his head, just long enough to answer, “Anything you do is fine. Show me how you like it?” He sucked Juri back into his mouth without waiting for Juri’s response. He slid his mouth down until his lips met his fist and then paused, waiting.

After a few seconds Juri pulled on Jesse’s hair until Jesse lifted his head, then pushed back down. Juri liked it a little slow, as it turned out, and sort of deep, and Jesse could definitely work with that. He focused on keeping his teeth out of the way and swiping his tongue over Juri’s tip when Juri pulled him up far enough to do it, until Juri’s hips were rising into Jesse’s touch on every breath.

“Close,” Juri panted, obviously struggling to keep quiet. He gave Jesse’s hair a yank, trying to pull him off. Jesse stayed right where he was, and Juri pulled harder. “H-hey, get off, I’m—ahh.”

Jesse kept his mouth right where it was until Juri came, not in the least bit fussed about either the taste or the swallowing. He kind of liked it, really, and even if he didn’t, it would have been worth it for the way Juri grinned up at him from his back, dazed and pleased. Jesse’s face was probably just as stupid if not stupider, and Jesse hoped that Juri thought it was cute too.

“Worth the wait?” Juri asked.

“Definitely,” Jesse agreed, running his palm up Juri’s hip.

“Mm, good. Come here and I’ll help you out with your own little problem.”

“Hey,” Jesse protested as he crawled up and tucked himself in against Juri’s side. “It’s not that little.”

Juri chuckled and said he could see that as he wrapped a hand around Jesse. Jesse put his own hand over top of Juri’s and showed him how fast and tight he liked it. He was already close before Juri touched him as a result of how much he had enjoyed getting Juri off, so it didn’t take long for Juri’s touch to turn him tense and trembling. Jesse didn’t even manage to whimper a warning before he was coming, streaking Juri’s stomach white, toes curling.

“Mmm nice,” Jesse praised as he nosed at Juri’s neck. Juri kissed his cheek and then stretched a hand out to grab a tissue. Jesse made no move to help as Juri cleaned himself off, clinging like a leech and pressing lazy kisses to Juri’s shoulder and neck.

“Okay okay, you’re a cuddler, I get it,” Juri said. He tossed the tissue aside and rolled more towards Jesse, putting his arms around Jesse’s neck as Jesse finally got a good grip around Juri’s waist and pulled their chests flush together. “Were your arms always so long? Damn.”

“That’s okay, right?” Jesse asked, face muffled against the curve of Juri’s neck and barely even interested in the answer. Juri felt so good against him, so warm, and Jesse wasn’t moving no matter what he said. “It better be because I’m not moving.”

Juri started laughing. “Taiga’s right, your blob impression is ridiculous.”

Jesse relaxed his weight even more heavily against Juri and made blob noises against his neck, until Juri was clutching at him and shaking with laughter.

Yeah, Jesse thought, eyes fluttering shut as Juri ran fingers through his hair, this had definitely been worth the wait.

The next few days were peaceful, Jesse feeling like a heavy weight had been lifted off his chest. He felt like he could do anything, like they could do five shows in one day, not that anybody else wanted to hear that suggestion halfway through a show run.

“God, shut up!” Taiga moaned, face down on the floor while Sakuma tried to fix a muscle knot in his lower back. “You’re so loud! I take it back, go back to your secret angst!”

“No can do!” Jesse announced, practically bouncing on his toes. “Okay, but listen, what if I just go out there in between shows and entertain the people as they’re coming in and finding their seats? You know, warm up the crowd a little?”

“I’m going to feed you to fangirls if you don’t go awaAAAHHH,” Taiga yelped as Sakuma dug into the right spot.

“Found it~,” Sakuma sang happily. He glanced up at Jesse while pushing down on Taiga, eyes amused. “He’s not gonna be happy when I let go of this, so maybe you should get out of here, huh? Go tell Hikaru you want to practice your duet again.”

Chuckling, Jesse obeyed and went to find the only Snowman with as much energy as Sakuma. Iwamoto was more than willing to work on his vocals with Jesse, although quietly, since they were both supposed to be resting their voices between shows. Jesse got absorbed into it enough that he jumped when an arm slid around his waist suddenly.

“Do it louder,” Juri ordered. When Jesse glanced over, Juri was grinning at him, eyes fond. “Your voice is nice, I like it.”

Jesse smiled so widely that it hurt a little as he wrapped an arm around Juri’s shoulders. “Good, because I like you.”

“Good.”

“Okay, I’m out,” Iwamoto announced, whapping the papers in his hand over Jesse’s head lightly. “This love duet has one too many people suddenly. Don’t be late for first show.”

“Is it bad when Snowmen call you gross?” Jesse wondered out loud as Iwamoto sauntered off. “Hey, sing with me.”

“Me?” Juri chuckled as Jesse pulled him into a proper hug. “Should have confessed to Taiga if you wanted that kind of action.”

“I’ll tell you what kind of action I want,” Jesse said, nosing at Juri’s piercings, then instead of dirty talk, Jesse whispered wild plans about stealing back all their old Hip Hop JUMP songs until Juri was shaking with laughter against him.