30 Kisses, (29) Cosmic Child

Title: Cosmic Child [Hashimoto/Totsuka]
Rating/Warnings: PG (I guess? textually?)
Summary: Totsuka has loved Hashimoto ages, like everybody does, but falling in love with him is another story.
AN: 30 kisses, day 29. Can I just say that watching this moment on the ABC-Z tv special for real broke my heart. HASSHI. He loves them so much, seriously ;__; ♥ As much as I can’t wait for him to become an adult truly, this stage right now where sometimes he randomly is a really awesome adult before reverting to Hasshi-chan form is something special.

Cosmic Child

Everyone loves Hashimoto, like a law of nature, or maybe that’s just his special talent. Senpai spoil him even when he’s completely KY, yearmates who should be seething with jealousy just shake their head like he can’t be helped, and some of the more precocious kouhai are starting to name him as their goal.

“That’s just…” Goseki gropes for a word while Totsuka chuckles, “…unfortunate.”

“They are a bit,” Totsuka agrees, to say nothing of Fukuzawa’s doe-eyed adoration of Kawai.

A.B.C. are no different, even early on. There’s just something about the way Hashimoto looks up at them (or down, actually), eyes hopeful and trusting, so determined, and when the impossible happens and he does actually start to catch up, well. There’s nothing the four of them love more than an underdog, except maybe a weirdo with an impossible cause.

“I like Tottsu,” Hashimoto says often at the beginning, like he’s making sure Totsuka knows, that he doesn’t forget. He says it to all of them, but it seems a bit different when he leans into Totsuka like a large dog quietly pressuring for attention.

“I like Hasshi too,” Totsuka answers, usually with a ruffle of his hair or an arm around his shoulder. He endures all manner of hugging and poking and tugging from Hashimoto, abuses of his personal space that he would tolerate from few other people, virtually no one from outside his unit.

Hashimoto is just special, is all, easy to love. But it isn’t until much later that Totsuka falls in love with him.

It’s during their first Music Station appearance as a unit, or more accurately after it. They’re watching the playback footage, everything already over, and when Totsuka glances to the side his attention is captured by Hashimoto. He’s staring at the monitor, mouthing every single word, expression serious and so anxious, anxious for them, about a performance that’s already over.

The strength of his feelings for A.B.C-Z are written all over his face, and suddenly it’s like a fist is squeezing Totsuka’s heart.

When they’re back in the dressing room, just them, Totsuka wraps his arms tight around Hashimoto’s chest, hugging him for once.

“Tottsu?” Hashimoto asks. Some of the worry is still lingering around his mouth and eyes, and Totsuka pushes up on his toes to kiss it away. Hashimoto is still from surprise for a second or two, before his hands come up to tug at Totsuka’s cute, spiky haircut.

“I like Hasshi,” Totsuka says when the kiss breaks, voice breathy, and he wonders what his eyes are showing Hashimoto. Maybe they’re even showing him that actually Totsuka loves him, the grown-up he’s suddenly become right in front of them.

“Mm.” Hashimoto nods, eyes serious as he looks into Totsuka’s. The small smile he gives Totsuka is all adult, making the fist around Totsuka’s heart squeeze even tighter. “Good. Because I like Tottsu too.”

Then his face relaxes into his usual puppy-ish grin, and he hugs Totsuka tight enough to lift him off his feet and make him groan in protest. Totsuka shoves him off and orders him to get changed already, so they can go out and celebrate over food.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that,” Goseki comments mildly when Totsuka takes his own advice.

“Did you? Hm.” Totsuka pulls his shirt over his head, then runs a hand through his mussed hair. “What exactly did you see?”

“Uh-huh.” Goseki points two fingers at his own eyes and then at Totsuka’s, then slaps him on the shoulder. “Eh, go on. Easier to follow in your footsteps than to break new ground, right? So you go ahead and do all the hard work.”

Totsuka laughs, is still laughing when he goes to collect Hashimoto, slides his hand into Hashimoto’s to keep him from straying too far. Little does Goseki know, Totsuka smiles to himself as Hashimoto’s fingers twine through his, that he plans on getting quite the head start.

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