Kingdom Hearts, Hard Assets

Title: Hard Assets [Riku/Sora/Kairi, if anything]
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for…well…I think Sora thinks this is G.
Summary: Growing up might kill Riku, or maybe get Sora killed.
AN: I really thought this would go somewhere, but…no. No spoilers.

Hard Assets

“What’s weird about that?” Sora reaches up to scratch his nose where the skin’s peeling a little from last week’s sunburn and peers at Kairi’s strangely-twisted mouth. “Is there something weird about that?”

“That you dreamed that you and Riku were wrestling and then you turned into a girl?” Kairi inquires innocently, and her mouth is still twitching a little. “Or the part where you said that wasn’t the thing you thought was weird? Or the part where…”

“You’re completely missing the point of the story!” Sora whines, then looks up at Riku with the hugest blue eyes possible when he trots the last couple steps up to fall down beside them in the sand. “Rikuuu, Kairi won’t let me finish my story, AND she says I’m weird!”

“What part of that is news?” Riku asks, sharing an eyeroll with Kairi.

“I don’t think it’s weird at all that I dreamed that I was wrestling with you naked—”

“Say what?” Riku starts, jaw dropping.

“—and it kind of makes complete sense that I was losing because I was a girl—”

“Whoa back!” Kairi crosses her arms, nostrils flaring.

“—and ANYWAY, the only reason I brought it up at all was to ask what you thought it meant that I was okay with the fact that I had really small breasts as a girl.”

Sora cocks his head, waiting for an answer, but both Kairi and Riku can only stare at him with dangling jaws.

“I mean, in the dream I was okay with it,” Sora continues, “because now that I’m awake, I’m definitely NOT okay with it, I think I’d have very impressive assets if I were a girl! But maybe it’s just because I only have Kairi to compare with…”

“Now you hold on!” Two spots of pink appear on Kairi’s cheeks.

“I mean I practically have more cleavage now than I did in the dream, here feel this—”

“I HAVE TO GO.” Riku exclaims, jumping to his feet and dashing back off the way he’d just come.

“Hmm, that’s strange.” Sora watches Riku’s retreating back with a furrowed brow. “Kairi, do you think Riku’s been acti—URK!” and then the rest of his question is choked off by Kairi’s hands around his neck as she shoves him into the sand and demonstrates a few other of her assets.

*****

“You didn’t kill him, did you?” Riku asks when Kairi approaches the tree Riku is sprawled over, stomach-down, on ‘his’ island.

“He’ll live,” Kairi sniffs, then cracks a thumb knuckle. “So, dreaming about wrestling naked, hm?”

Riku groans and clunks his forehead against the tree, lets his hands swing free to dangle down into the air.

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