Stargate SG-1, Set Phasers to Stun

Title: Set Phasers to Stun [Jack/Daniel]
Rating/Warnings: PG, cause Jack can’t learn his lesson about women on random planets.
AN: Written for the 2005 Sekrit Projekt, Track 13.
Summary:

Your famous last words started
(And they) They all know where to find me
Every word that I said, what a big mistake
–Taking Back Sunday

Track 13: Set Phasers to Stun

“You know what really bugs me?” Jack asked. Across the table, Daniel looked up from up from the food he was poking at and Sam continued making notes on her paperwork.

“Anything Samantha Carter says that begins with ‘the wormhole’ or ‘when I was at the Pentagon’,” Teal’c answered, making Sam smile and Daniel snicker. Jack reached across the table to punch Daniel in the shoulder.

“That was a rhetorical question, Teal’c,” Jack continued, “and no. What really bugs me is the way that Daniel,” Jack pointed an accusatory finger at their resident archaeologist, “Daniel is always right.”

“I’m not always right.” Daniel put a forkful of food in his mouth, then frowned.

“Oh, you are so,” Jack waved him off and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “You were right about the Goa’uld ships coming to destroy the planet.”

“That’s true.” Sam looked up, bemused.

“Only because I saw it on the other earth,” Daniel protested. “Because I touched stuff you told me not to!”

“And you were right about eating the weird food and sleeping with that girl on that one planet.”

“You were also correct on that occasion,” Teal’c admitted.

“But that could be true of so many planets…” Daniel tried.

“And about the Noxx, huh?” Jack kicked Daniel’s foot under the table a little.

“Well,” Daniel wrinkled his brow, “wait, what exactly about the Noxx was I right about?”

“You know.” Jack waved a hand in a circle. “When we were in the forest, and there was that little kid? You’re just always right!”

“Can’t argue with the man, Daniel.” Sam tapped her papers on the table to straighten them and stood. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a report to type.”

“I also must report,” Teal’c added, standing up and giving the others a tiny nod. Sam gave a little wave, still smirking, as she and Teal’c left the commissary.

Daniel and Jack sat in silence for a few moments, Daniel braving another few bites and Jack’s foot kicking against his lightly still.

“Always right, Danny boy,” Jack said, weaving his fingers together behind his head.

“You’re right too sometimes!” Daniel slapped down his fork.

“Oh yeah?” Jack leaned forward, setting his elbows on the table. “What was I right about?”

“This meatloaf for one thing.” Daniel pushed his tray aside with a wrinkled nose. “You told me not to touch it.”

“Oh, well that’s just great! You get to save the planet,” Jack reached over to poke Daniel in the chest, “and I get bad meatloaf. Hey, maybe I’ve saved us all from a food poisoning epidemic!”

“Jack…” Daniel eyed him over the rim of his glasses, “are you feeling okay?”

“Absolutely!” Jack stood suddenly and came around the table to go. He stopped behind Daniel and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. The touch lasted just a little too long, Jack’s fingers digging in. “I’m just fine, Danny boy.”

Daniel looked up at Jack, whose smile was faker than the meatloaf, and stopped his hand just short of reaching up and brushing Jack’s.

“I just remembered,” Daniel said, standing up as well, “I have something to show you. Come to my office?”

When they arrived at Daniel’s office, Daniel waved Jack in ahead of him and pulled the door shut behind them, then caught Jack’s sleeve and tugged him back against the door. Jack stiffened as Daniel wrapped arms around his waist.

“Daniel,” he warned, putting his hands against Daniel’s shoulders.

“I know, not in the mountain.” Daniel rested his cheek against Jack’s chest. “Just give me a minute, huh? Besides, the bookcase makes this a dead spot for the camera.”

“Daniel,” Jack said again, but his hands just rested against Daniel’s shoulders without pushing him away.

“Coming back from the dead takes it out of a guy, you know?” Jack’s arm slid tightly around Daniel’s neck, and Daniel knew he’d scored a direct hit. “I’m right here, Jack.”

“I know that,” Jack snapped, but he didn’t let go. Daniel let it rest for a moment, and sure enough, eventually Jack muttered, “It’s always you. Why is it always you? Why isn’t it ever Carter, or Teal’c?”

“Or you?” Daniel asked, and Jack grumbled something unintelligible. “It’s been all of us, Jack, and it’ll be all of us again.”

“You really know how to give a pep talk, Danny boy.” Jack slid his arm off Daniel’s shoulders and Daniel stepped back. “Guess old Apophis never learned you shouldn’t hit a guy with glasses.” He reached up to tap the bridge of Daniel’s glasses with his finger.

Daniel looked at Jack for a moment that stretched to a handful of seconds, the slow grin curling up the side of his mouth that he knew drove Jack crazy when there was no time for him to throw Daniel down and have his way with him.

Besides, the desk was covered in priceless artifacts, so it was better not to tempt the colonel.

“No respect for senior citizens either,” he said, reaching up to flick fingers against Jack’s graying hair.

“Space monkey,” Jack sneered at him, slapping his hand away and turning to slip out the door.