Kyou Kara Maou, 20 Random Facts About Murata Ken, Great Sage

Title: 20 Random Facts About Murata Ken, Great Sage [Murata]
Rating/Warnings: PG for millennia-old affections
Summary: Title says it all.
A/N: Some of you who are in Prince of Tennis fandom have no doubt noticed the 20 random facts meme that’s going around, where the goal is to list 20 facts about a characters/pairing/whatever.

I thought nobody deserved 20 random facts more than Murata did, so I thought I’d infect this fandom too.

20 Random Facts About Murata Ken, Great Sage

1. He loved the man to death, but Murata refused to ruin his figure by bearing the Original Maou an heir (or, let’s be honest, heirs; he never did know when enough was enough). The whole transference of souls in a bottle thing was really just the Great Sage’s Plan B.

2. Sometimes Murata and Yozak exchange glances over Yuuri and Conrad’s shoulders, respectively, when they are being particularly noble and insufferable. Yozak’s eyeroll says “Good thing they’re so cute and we love them, ne?” and Murata’s eyebrow raise replies “These idiots wouldn’t last five minutes without us.”

Other times Murata’s eyebrow says, “Let’s make a break for the fountain, I can get us to the other world in two minutes flat,” but the farthest away they’ve ever got was four and half steps before Yuuri accidentally began a cold war with a neighboring country, and Conrad made some noises about ritual suicide.

3. Murata likes to tease Yuuri about having a crush on his mother, but the truth is that Shibuya-san is much easier to talk to than his family because she knows about the other world, and because she is so much more demonstratively affectionate than his own mother. Now that he spends so much time with Yuuri in Shin Makoku, he actually misses sitting in the Shibuya kitchen and delivering the Yuuri Special Edition Spy Report. And he misses Shibuya-san’s cookies too.

4. And wearing the apron. And the way Shibuya-san always squeals about how tiny Murata’s waist is when he ties it on (see also #1, which was completely justified).

5. The more the Original Maou manifests himself through Yuuri, the more his presence fails to fade completely even when Yuuri is ‘back’. The shards of Shinou that Murata sees in Yuuri from time to time leave him reminding himself fiercely that he has no business forcing his millennia-old affections on the 27th Maou.

When Yuuri’s hair starts getting a little too long for Murata’s composure, he makes a few choice and innocuous comments to Shibuya-san which result in her demanding that Yuuri get a haircut.

6. It would probably be hard to find somebody in Shin Makoku who was less of a handyman than Murata. The shrine maidens don’t seem to mind that they usually end up showing him how to do everything; Murata has the sinking suspicion that they just want him to bend over as much as possible.

7. Murata feels really embarrassed about the way this whole Four Boxes thing has gotten completely out of hand. He could argue that he was only acting under orders, but somehow he feels that saying “the Original Maou made me do it” is a bit of a pale excuse.

8. The first time Murata saw Yuuri sign a document “Shibuya Yuuri, Harajuku Furi”, he suppressed the snickers. But then he caught sight of the official royal seal that Gunter had created from it, and laughed until he cried. Sometimes it’s hard being the only person who gets the joke when Earth and Shin Makoku cross, but moments like these help make up for it.

9. It helps just as much now that Yuuri is on the same page. During the state dinner with the dignitary who looked exactly like Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII, the only thing that made it bearable was looking across the table at Yuuri’s expression of badly suppressed horror and knowing that he saw the same thing.

10. Murata feels for Conrad, he likes and respects the man a great deal, but goddamn, how many generations will it take for these Wellers stop being such freaking martyrs? He’s thankful to have Yozak deflect some of the Weller angst with sex and cross-dressing this time around.

11. Murata has been propositioned by Celi. Sometimes when he sees Wolfram pressing his advantage with Yuuri and actually making some progress, it makes Murata feel a little better to imagine telling Wolfram that he nearly made it with his mother. In the library. In Wolfram’s favorite chair.

12. Toying with adults is getting harder and harder as Murata grows up and loses some of his childhood cuteness. He’s been cultivating his cheerful idiocy act in replacement, which is just as if not more effective, but it was a lot easier just looking cute and innocent. Yuuri has all the luck.

13. The person sneaking all those explicit yaoi doujinshi into Yuuri’s bag isn’t his mother. Murata knows it’s cruel, but the most glorious thing in the world is watching Yuuri shriek “But these aren’t MINE!” when Wolfram demands to know why Yuuri keeps claiming that isn’t how things work in his world.

14. Gwendal doesn’t seem to take Murata military and diplomacy suggestions very seriously, which is going to become a larger and larger problem for Shin Makoku when times get harder. In fact, he’s pretty sure that Gwendal actively dislikes him, but Yozak assures him Gwendal’s like that with everybody.

Gwendal thaws a little when Murata starts picking up some of the slack in paperwork. Besides, Yuuri’s handwriting is atrocious.

15. Not that he’s one to talk, but Murata privately suspects that Gunter has a teensy bit of a personality disorder. Or maybe all that hair is yanking on his brain too hard or something. And, although it’s cute in the most disturbing way imaginable, Murata hates when Gunter drops by Gwendal’s office to lean over his shoulder and make encouraging noises about his work, because then Gwendal is extra-prickly for hours afterwards, and will loudly announce at the drop of a hat that he isn’t blushing, its just hot in here, open a damn window, will you?

16. Deep down, Murata hates Shinou for leaving him behind and forcing him to remember everything, over and over, maybe forever. He hates him even more for refusing to rest in peace so that Murata can do the same. He hates him even more for manifesting in Wolfram’s fine features and Yuuri’s clenched jaw, when Murata knows he can never let himself want either one.

If Murata ever gets to the afterlife, there’s going to be a lot of bondage in store for a certain Original Maou.

17. Murata loves the Japanese, because they make the best and most bizarre candy of any people of any place and any time, and believe me, Murata knows. He’s brought a few of his favorites back to Shin Makoku to have Anissina and the maids try to reverse engineer them, but the results never quite compare. The first stop for Murata, after a return to earth, is always the nearest convenience store, while a dripping Yuuri shakes his head in bemusement. Murata insists that he is not an addict, it’s just that traveling between worlds uses up a lot of calories.

18. Murata isn’t a huge fan of the glasses that this reincarnation depends on. They always get broken or scratched, and he can’t read the clock in the middle of the night, and they leave red pinchy marks on the bridge of his nose. But he does enjoy the way people edge away from him when he lets the light glint off the lenses in just the right way.

19. Having a best friend is something that Murata hasn’t enjoyed in quite a few reincarnations, and he isn’t sure he can ever tell Yuuri how thankful he is for it. He’d almost forgotten about small joys like going to a terrible movie on a rainy Saturday afternoon, and when the grouchy village matchmaker onscreen looks just like Gwendal, they howl with laughter until Yuuri’s head presses into Murata’s shoulder, and Murata thinks he’s had a pretty good run after all.

20. Murata just doesn’t understand why T-Zou hates him. Yozak’s suggestion that his head looked like a dumpling did not make him feel any better.

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